So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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