I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
