Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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