two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
