he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
