If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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