i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
