I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
