apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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