Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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