That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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