You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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