i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
