I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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