i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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