I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
