I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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