youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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