You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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