when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
