im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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