google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
