I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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