My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
