the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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