Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
