"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
