I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
