capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
