i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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