i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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