TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
