which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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