Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
