sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
