I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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