god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
