I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
