Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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