Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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