youre lurking in front of me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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