you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
