if you like me you must not know who I am
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
