Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My balls are so social today.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
