Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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