I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
