You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
