How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
