Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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