the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
