I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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