Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
